The tongue heals pretty quickly. In fact, I've heard from tongue-piercees that early on, if you take the piercing out, it'll heal in seven minutes.

Perhaps those laws of the tongue don't apply to my tongue, or the kind of injury mine has. There is a chunk missing from the right side of my tongue, and it hurts and is pretty swollen.

I can't speak very well today, and had to leave work because I was drooling excessively. I just thought it would be better if I slobbered silently in the sanctity of my own home.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet,
enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.

I have been wearing contacts for 15 years. Not the same pair, mind you, though it felt like it last night when I peeled the sticky, allergen-laden plastic disks off of my eyes. The joke is that I have bigger eyes than most, so I gather more mold and pollen out of the air every time I blink. This morning I made a blind vanilla latte', and it's a process I am familiar enough with that I can do it without being able to see. My grandmother is 81 and almost blind, but she's still amazing in her kitchen. But you know what they say about Greek women in the kitchen...

For my 33rd birthday, I will have been a contact wearer for 20 years, and almost fully vested, and for that birthday I plan to have laser surgery on my eyes.

Speaking of personal rewards...

I once bought a ring as a reward to myself for a summer doing morning radio. I have been thinking for five years now about the treat I should earn for learning to walk, talk and feed myself. September 5 is my Fifth Birthday.

Our buyers' agent told us it might be best to hurry and buy a house before the election, because these rates are only going to go up. I think everybody should go to the polls this fall and vote for Dubya all the day long.

Christian. Texan. Republican. And Proud.

Hee. Life has some harsh realities. Like having to go to the grocery store when you have a migraine, because there is nothing left in the house with which to make cappuccino. Like running from fireants-coming-out-of-the-walls and psycho-drug-users-looking-for-a-fix-at-3:30-Easter-Sunday-morning, and them catching up with you anyway. But I'm not running now. I've achieved a place within myself where I stand and fight. I'm older and have more insurance.

In order to combat a high yellow wall, get yourself a friend with HGTV smarts, and it doesn't hurt if she has an eight foot ladder and a seven foot husband.

I got something in the mail yesterday. Not a package, but three yellow smiley face tumblers taped together, with address labels stuck on them. This, from the child who once mailed Mom a sheet of notebook paper reading: "Dear Mom, I need a new pencil at school."

And when he was a teenager, he mailed a friend a letter with 29 one-cent stamps.

I'm never separating these tumblers. I'm keeping the stack of them, mailing labels and postage holding them together, on my desk to remind me everytime I look up from my computer just how much I adore Travis.

It's ok if you need to call me during the day to find out how long eggs will last in the fridge. That's why I switched to Verizon. I realize you're a grown man, but I love you so much, I think you are a fuzzy teddy bear or something, to be squeezed and nuzzled and oohed and aahed over.

I am so glad that Nic is able to go to Fargo next week. Being away from somebody you love so much is so hard when they're hurting. I very nearly hopped a Fargo-bound plane Friday afternoon to watch Travis. I didn't think my presence would do a lot of good, I just wanted to see his face so I'd know.

When I was sick, people sent flowers and cards. And they jumped on airplanes and came here to look at bald, purple-faced me, and I wasn't very entertaining then. And I kept slurring to Mom, "They shouldn't have done that."

But she told me when people are far away and they feel helpless, they do things to show you they love you.

Travis, I did none of those things last week, but I did clean out the spare bedroom a little more, in case you wanna come live with us.

Praise God for the angels looking out for my baby brother, who is my sunshine, my babydoll from the moment he was born. It tears me up that I'm not there, as though my being there would keep him out of harm's way. So I'll just pray for his strength and peace from here.

I have a dozen and a half of the most fragrant yellow roses on my desk. "She's the diamond of the desert, she's the golden flower of spring, she's the yellow rose of Texas..."

And today, my ring is a year old. I love you, Erik.

Grrr. I want the eighteen Russian rocket scientist Schlitterbahn exchange brainiacs outside to be quieter. When they're upstairs I want them to realize that Riverdance already has enough dancers, and daily and nightly I want them to cease and desist the dropping of trash in front of my door. I don't party on your front step in your country and muck it up, Nikolai. So pick up your cigarette cartons and move your doggone bike. I'm pretty easy to please. Just stop ticking me off.